Have you ever been startled to discover yourself thinking thoughts you don’t agree with?

Perhaps you’ve found yourself with foot-in-mouth disease, listening to yourself say something intolerant about – for instance – an ethnic or religious group.  Even as you hear the words coming from your lips, you’re thinking, “I don’t really believe that!”

You’re not going crazy, and you’re not some sort of secret bigot. (more…)

Author: Barbara Schiffman, C.Ht.

Every health and lifestyle magazine contains articles claiming stress is bad for us. They list dozens of ways to relieve stress, from exercise to eating healthy foods. A wide range of relaxation techniques have also been proven to help manage stress in our crazy-busy world, especially for people who take care of others and tend to neglect themselves.

But stress is not always as bad as these cautionary articles insist. In fact, some stress is actually necessary to keep us going and growing. (more…)

IMAGINE you are a caveman out innocently picking berries when suddenly you come nose to nose with a saber-tooth tiger. While you were simply gathering, the tiger was actually hunting, and the sight of you makes his mouth water. (more…)

Here are some discussion questions to use when facilitating a session on stress management:

1.  When you say “I’m stressed out” or “I’m under a great deal of stress”, what do you mean?  What is the difference between stress and a stressor? (more…)

Emotional self-awareness is the foundational competency of the Emotional Intelligence (EI) model I have worked with for over a decade. This competency provides a solid base upon which to build and enhance Emotional Intelligence competencies including emotional self-management, emotional self-motivation, empathy and nurturing relationships. Yet many of us go through our day unaware and very accepting of the emotional roller coaster daily events evoke. And without recognizing where we are expending our emotional energy, it becomes difficult to progress to developing other EI competencies. (more…)

A positive side to stress? Sounds strange, doesn’t it? But think about it. Isn’t some level of stress an important factor in meeting any goal? Don’t most people need that edge of energy that comes with working hard to meet challenges and overcome obstacles?

Stress can, under the right circumstances, be a gift. It can motivate us, and focus our efforts. The people who are most successful in life tend to be those that bounce back quickly from stress and adversity; they learn from their mistakes and move on, rather than feel victimized. However, when we experience too much of it, stress can also be detrimental to our health and to our overall success at work and at home.

The key is to find the right level of stress, and that’s where good leadership comes in. If they want to build their staff’s capability, good leaders don’t try to completely eliminate stress from a project, an assignment or the environment. Effective leaders understand that setting and achieving goals involves stress in some form, and that the stress involved in setting and reaching for goals often draws out the best of people’s talents.

Here are some guidelines that can help managers and coaches “get the best out of stress” for their teams. Remember, though, it’s about finding the right balance between energizing stress and stress that becomes counterproductive and potentially harmful.  

1) Make sure you are able to recognize signs of stress and identify their causes.

• How do you typically learn what events, situations and conditions are creating stress for your employees?
• What factors in your department or work group tend to produce the most stress for people? Are these acknowledged and discussed openly?

2) Recognize that each person has a different capacity for dealing with stress — some are better at it than others.

• When coaching employees, are there specific behaviors or areas of skill development you can recommend for those that need to reduce their level of stress, such as improved time management, better planning, being more assertive, etc?

3) Help employees recognize that there are productive forms of stress.

• Do you ever hear stress discussed in positive terms? How can you help employees see that, in many cases, stressful situations and challenges aren’t altogether negative because they serve to make us stronger?
• What methods have you developed for managing your own stress? What past experiences have made you better able to survive new challenges? Have you shared these with your staff?

4) Attempt to raise the stress level up a notch, but only when and where it will be constructive.

• Can you think of situations in your work environment where a bit more pressure might be useful? What are they? What makes you think that raising the stress level just a notch might be useful?
• How can you assess whether or not your employees have sufficient resiliency to thrive on additional stress before adding more pressure to the situation?

When acknowledged and handled well — especially with the proper guidance and coaching — employees will see that stress can build resilience as well as confidence and the ability to deal with challenging circumstances.

Excerpted in part from the Leader’s Guide for the CRM Learning program, Stress is a Gift.

Need help in this area? Stress is a Gift uses a poignant example from nature to illustrate how stressors are essential to any living thing’s ability to survive and grow.

Try these stretching exercises at your desk — or anywhere else — to ease back pain and boost energy.
By Susan Seliger WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Charlotte E. Grayson Mathis, MD

You may feel awkward doing stretching exercises at your desk. But right now, as you sit there at your computer, you are doing one of the worst things you can do to your body — you’re sitting still. And not only that, but the way you sit — and type, and hold the phone — may be wreaking havoc on your bones, joints, and muscles.

“People who sit at their computers for hours every day — they’re in for serious medical problems,” says Sharon Hame, MD, associate clinical professor at UCLA’s department of orthopedic surgery. “We’re seeing more things than carpal tunnel; those pains go up the arm to the elbow and shoulder and then translate to the neck and back. It’s a huge problem.”

In addition to carpal tunnel and other traditional ergonomic issues, new problems are cropping up, Hame says. “I saw a woman yesterday who had tennis elbow. She got it at work from the way she answered the phone and worked at the computer.” The solution, experts say, is to break up your work by doing stretching exercises at your desk.

Relieve Back Pain With Stretching Exercises at Your Desk
Aches and pains, not to mention the weight gain that can result from hunching over your desk all day, are just the beginning. “People shouldn’t be complacent about moving just because they’re not obese,” says Angela Smith, MD, orthopedic surgeon at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and former president of the American College of Sports Medicine. “There are a lot of skinny people who, because they don’t exercise for strength and balance, are osteoporotic fractures waiting to happen.”

So what can you do to ward off pain and stiffness and boost your energy and alertness? WebMD consulted orthopedic surgeons and exercise specialists for 12 simple stretching exercises at your desk that will release tension from head to toe. They take only a few minutes. Set the alarm on your cell phone or computer to go off every hour to remind you it’s time to get up and stretch.

Stretching Exercises at Your Desk: 12 Simple Tips

1. Just stand up and sit down — no hands
You might have gotten a gold star in preschool for sitting still, but it just goes to show you (best sellers not withstanding) that not all of us learned everything we need to know in kindergarten. “If you stand up and sit down (over and over) — without using your hands — it can be a challenge,” says Smith. “Do it while you’re on the phone; no one will know.”

2. Substitute exercise for sitting — while you work
- Get rid of your desk chair and substitute an exercise ball, suggests Smith. “I used it for a while when I was having low-back problems; it was great,” Smith says. “All day you are engaging all the muscles in the back, legs, butt, everything, to stay balanced.
- Hame knows one man who put a treadmill in his office and conducted all his business while walking. (He lost weight, too, Hame says

3. Shrug your shoulders — to release the neck and shoulders
- Inhale deeply and shrug your shoulders, lifting them high up to your ears. Hold. Release and drop. Repeat three times.
- Shake your head slowly, yes and no. You might as well amuse yourself while you do it to relax even further. Ask yourself silly questions: “Is your boss an idiot?” Move your head up and down, “Yes, yes, yes.” Side to side: “No. No. No.” (Shedding tension is as much mental as physical.)

4. Loosen the hands with air circles
- Clench both fists, stretching both hands out in front of you.
- Make circles in the air, first in one direction, to the count of ten.
- Then reverse the circles.
- Shake out the hands.

5. Point your fingers — good for hands, wrist, and forearms
- Stretch your left hand out in front of you, pointing fingers toward the floor. Use your right hand to increase the stretch, pushing your fingers down and toward the body. Be gentle.
- Do the same with the other hand.
- Now stretch your left hand out straight in front, wrist bent, with fingers pointing skyward. Use your right hand to increase the stretch, pulling the fingers back toward your body.
- Do the same on the other side.

6. Release the upper body with a torso twist
- Inhale and as you exhale, turn to the right and grab the back of your chair with your right hand, and grab the arm of the chair with your left.
- With eyes level, use your grasp on the chair to help twist your torso around as far to the back of the room as possible. Hold the twist and let your eyes continue the stretch — see how far around the room you can peer.
- Slowly come back to facing forward.
- Repeat on the other side.

7. Do leg extensions — work the abs and legs
- Grab the seat of your chair to brace yourself and extend your legs straight out in front of you so they are parallel to the floor.
- Flex and point your toes five times. Release.
- Repeat.

8. Stretch your back with a “big hug”
- Hug your body, placing the right hand on your left shoulder and the left hand on your right shoulder.
- Breathe in and out, releasing the area between your shoulder blades.

9. Cross your arms — for the shoulders and upper back
- Extend one arm out straight in front of you. With the other hand, grab the elbow of the outstretched arm and pull it across your chest, stretching your shoulder and upper back muscles.
- Hold. Release.
- Stretch out the other arm in front of you — repeat.

10. Stretch your back and shoulders with a “leg hug”
- Sit on the edge of your chair (if it has wheels, wedge the chair against the desk or wall to make sure it does not roll). Put your feet together, flat on the floor.
- Lean over, chest to knees, letting your arms dangle loosely to the floor. Release your neck.
- Now bring your hands behind your legs, right hand grasping left wrist, forearm (or elbow if you can reach that far), left hand grasping the right. Feel the stretch in your back, shoulders and neck. Hold.
- Release your hands to the floor again.
- Repeat three times or as often as it feels good.

11. Look up to release upper body
- Sit up tall in your chair, or stand up. Stretch your arms overhead and interlock your fingers.
- Turn the palms to the ceiling as you lift your chin up, tilt your head back, and gaze up at the ceiling, too.
- Inhale, exhale, release.

12. Substitute walks for email — and don’t eat at your desk
- Instead of emailing a colleague “and copying 25 people who don’t want to be copied anyway,” Smith says, “walk over to the colleague you really want to talk to.” Instead of a lunch meeting at you desk, walk together to a neighborhood sandwich shop. “Talk while you walk — it’s more efficient and productive,” Smith says. “You’re getting more oxygen to the brain, you have no distractions, and you’re more likely to remember what is said.”

Reprinted with permission from WebMD. Copyright 2007.