In solving conflicts, one of the best things you can do is to strive for collaboration. When collaborating, each person in the conflict works to uncover the other person’s underlying concerns so that everyone understands what is really behind the conflict and the resolution can address most (if not all) of both parties’ concerns.

Common communication tools used in collaboration are: active listening, questioning that reveals a willingness to understand (such as “What is it about this situation that bothers you the most?”), expressing your own concerns without being overly emotional, sticking to the issue at hand and taking responsibility for your role in the conflict.

Here is a quick role play activity you can use to help people practice using collaboration as a conflict resolution method.

Group Activity: Collaborating (35 minutes)

1) Before the exercise, prepare envelopes for each pair of participants. On the outside of the envelope, write a conflict situation that could conceivably occur within an organization (or within your organization, specifically). Inside the envelope, place two slips of paper. On Slip #1, list a job description for Employee #1, as well as an underlying concern for them in the conflict. On Slip #2, list a job description for Employee #2, as well as an underlying concern for them in the conflict.

2) Remind the participants that the skills of active listening and open communication play a key role in helping to uncover underlying concerns in a conflict.

3) State that the goal of the role playing exercise is to get the other party to move past his or her position, and into collaboration. To achieve that, they will need to discover the concerns that are fueling the conflict.

4) Ask the participants to pair up for the role playing exercise. Then pass out the envelopes that you have prepared ahead of the session. Before they begin, ask them to reflect on their positions. They should think about the level of assertiveness they need to bring in defending their position and how willing they will be to cooperate when it comes to meeting the other person’s needs.

5) Have the group begin the role playing exercise. Set a time limit of 15 minutes.

6) After the role playing is completed, ask the group to discuss their experiences. Were they able to identify the position of the other party? Were they able to reveal the underlying concerns? How? Were they successful in moving toward a collaboration? Why or why not?

Excerpted from the Leader’s Guide for the CRM Learning video, Dealing With Conflict.

Training Resource: Dealing with Conflict shows why “collaboration” – which includes getting to the heart of what’s most important to the other party — is typically your best conflict resolution strategy.

The Need: A major manufacturer of large vehicles and equipment with over 7500 employees was looking for a conflict management module to train their managers and leaders. The training department saw a need for conflict management skills to be taught in the event that conflicts were to arise in the company. 

The Solution: After previewing different programs, the company chose CRM Learning’s What to Do When Conflict Happens and implemented it into their management/leadership course. The trainer felt the video program provided them with exactly what they were looking for as it addresses conflict from different perspectives, both in office environments and on the shop floor.

The Success Story: All manufacturing management and team leaders will be required to complete the training. To date 70% of management has attended. The training is being done in a classroom environment, with discussion before and after the video is viewed. Discussions center around the topic of workplace conflict and how to spot and handle situations that may arise.

The trainer wrote his own curriculum for the class and uses the video and materials as a centerpiece to show examples of conflict situations and how to work through them. The training module that was developed includes several practical simulations where the potential for conflict is present. During the exercises, participants work together as a team to dispel and solve the conflict. The C.A.L.M. Model from the video is utilized as a tool and a solution for dispelling and resolving conflict when it happens.

The C.A.L.M model is a four-step process of: Clarify the situation, Address the problem, Listen to both sides and Manage your way to resolution. When used in this order, the C.A.L.M. model gives a process that is easy for everyone to understand and use to work through their disagreements.

Handouts of the C.A.L.M model are distributed for future reference. The managers and team leaders can refer back to them when they see a conflict arising on the floor or in the office. Participants are also to develop their own plan of how they will manage conflict resolution, and to follow up with individuals after they have had to step into a conflict situation.

In all, after they have gone through the training, managers and team leaders are giving more thought to the subject of conflict, how it occurs, how it can escalate, and how they can play their role as leaders in solving conflict between their team members.

Watch the trailer, full-length preview or learn more about What To Do When Conflict Happens.

Conflicts occur in our workplace daily.  And when they do, the conflict rarely impacts just the two people involved. The question is—when is it appropriate for a third party to intervene?  It’s always best for the two people to work the conflict out on their own, but sometimes they simply can’t…or won’t.

Anyone who begins to try to help other people in a conflict situation must first come to grips with their own internal conflict about whether or not to intervene. These factors have proven to be important indicators as to the appropriateness of intervening.

• First there is the importance of the issue.
If the issue is extremely important to you or the team/organization, it’s probably worth intervening, even if the other factors listed below are low.
• How important are the relationships?
Even when the issue is less important, if the relationship you have with one or both parties is highly significant to you, you might want to intervene in order to help preserve the relationship(s).
• Consider what would happen if no one intervened?
If you believe the short- or long-range results would be extremely negative, even if neither the issue nor the relationship are important, it might still be advisable to intervene.
• Finally, think about what it is you want in the situation.
Identify your goals in the conflict prior to thinking about helping others. (If you don’t, any attempts you make to resolve the conflict will likely get muddled and the people you’re trying to help may end up feeling manipulated.)

Excerpted from the Leader’s Guide for the CRM program Resolving Conflict.

For more on this topic, check out the CRM Learning program What To Do When Conflict Happens, which features a section on conflict mediation.