The ROE Report Results: The results are in from an independently-conducted “Return on Expectations” (ROE) study recently conducted with CRM Learning customers who used the best-selling video “Working With You Is Killing Me” – and they’re over the top!

The CRM customers surveyed reported that this program met or exceeded expectations 95 percent of the time. Customers were selected from the banking, insurance, energy and consulting world and interviewed over the phone by an independent research firm. Each client was told that all answers would be anonymous and aggregated into a central database in order to ensure unbiased feedback.

About the Video Program: “Working With You Is Killing Me” is an unvarnished look at the unique challenges in working with difficult people. One survey respondent noted that the title alone was delightful, which broke the ice at the beginning of each training session and led to more meaningful and honest discussion. “They loved the title,” the client said, “it sounded like fun, and people could really resonate with it.”

Training expectations: Clients said they used the program with a range of groups of all sizes, from supervisors to entry-level employees. Two had used the program for more than six months. Several planned to use the program as part of formal leadership, management and team-building training, but others found it extremely useful for “customized interventions,” to help in specific situations where both parties needed to remain calm. Several stated they planned to use the training specifically for management of conflict resolution.

“It was simple enough,” one respondent noted, “but the video didn’t talk down to anyone. I even showed it to a group of directors, and saw some taking notes, which is saying a lot!”

One client told a very personal story of how he used “Working With You Is Killing Me” to help with a specific employee, inviting him to sit down and view the video together. “We laughed when the video talked about ‘toxic relationships’,” the client reported. “This was just what he was dealing with. He’s worked on his problem and he’s now fine.”

Other clients noted they heard the language of the program being used in situations at the office, so it’s clear that employees have internalized the training.

When asked if they would recommend the program to others, all clients responded with an emphatic yes. “I already have,” said one, “several times.”

Watch a Free Full Length Preview of Working With You is Killing Me:
http://www.crmlearning.com/working-with-you-is-killing-me

The Problem:
A financial services company with 260 employees needed leaders who knew how to get the most from their teams, especially when so many were asked to do more with fewer people.

The Solution:
Managers, supervisors and the company’s process improvement committee took to heart the mindset-shifting message in CRM’s compelling video, 5 Questions Every Leader Must Ask. The core concept? Managers don’t have all the answers, but they do need to ask the right questions to draw out peak performance from every member on their teams.

The Success Story:
Anyone who has ever managed a diverse team knows that it takes hard work to get every member to contribute, even when the chemistry is good. Many leaders at this company found 5 Questions Every Leader Must Ask to be a valuable new way to approach the philosophy of leadership, especially when so many were feeling the heavy weight of added responsibility resting on their shoulders.

Beginning with the premise that no one person is going to have all the answers – even the leader of the company – was definitely a mindset change for many of these managers and supervisors. Once that idea was established, they were able to shift their thinking to see that one of a leader’s most important responsibilities is to make others on the team think like leaders too.

On the high-performing teams that every company wants, no one is allowed to sit passively and wait for instruction or inspiration from the team leader. Instead, each member is free to take initiative himself or herself to share ideas, build consensus, and shape strategy.

The training was offered twice, once for all managers and again for the process improvement committee, which helped to impress the message upon the company’s culture.

The trainer gathered each group in a conference room to first show the video and then work through the exercises in the accompanying training manual. She took extra care to customize exercises so they reflected real-work situations that could happen, or did happen, at the company. She also passed out quick tips and cards that participants could keep to reinforce the message after the class was over.

The trainer noted that she began each session by letting participants know how much she valued their time, and acknowledging that managers have more responsibilities than ever before.

She reported that many managers thought the class was particularly valuable because it was so timely, given what was going on at the company. One supervisor, who had to take on a second team due to the retirement of another long-time manager, said she conducted her very first meeting with her now doubled team by asking “The Five Questions”. Things started out on the right foot and set a positive tone for all future meetings.

By Erin Johnston, L.C.S.W.
For About.com

We communicate constantly, and tend to assume that what we are communicating is what we mean to communicate. Often this is the case. However, sometimes, especially during difficult conversations or misunderstandings, the meaning gets lost in the delivery and the ending conversation has little to do with the original meaning.

Learning effective communication skills can greatly improve communications in all your relationships, and generally reduce the level of conflict. It is important that, as much as possible, both participants have the same ground rules for communicating.

1. Trust
You must first choose to trust yourself and your ability to trust others. For effective communication to occur, there must be a general level of trust between the parties, this is especially true for personal and intimate relationships. In general, the more intimate the relationship, the greater level of trust is needed. For example, if you do not trust your partner, you will not be able to be vulnerable, relay your disappointment, or ask things from him/her. In other words, without trust you will not be able to communicate what you really want to say, nor will you be able to hear what is being said to you.

2. Breathe
It is important to remember to breathe during conversations, especially difficult ones. All too often anger or fear take over and we stop breathing and stop communicating effectively. Making sure to take slow deep breaths is a way to keep the level of negative emotion down and effective communication up.

3. Stay Present
It is important to stay focused on the topic at hand. There is a tendency to bring in past issues to defend or accuse, but this must be avoided. Bringing up the past does nothing but confuse and deflect the issue at hand. Remember the past cannot be changed, so bringing it up does nothing but add fuel to a potentially combustible discussion.

4. Really Listen
All too often listening is the last thing that we are doing when the other person is talking. During arguments, we often are simply waiting for our time to speak, or just looking out for the other person to say something that can really be jumped on. If effective communication is going to take place we have to really listen to try to understand what the other person is saying, even if it is something that we may not like. Listening, and repeating what you heard being said, is the best way to ensure that you have actually “heard” what was intended.

5. Try to Understand Other Point of View
Even when you do not agree with what the other person is saying, it is important to try to understand their point of view. It may be a tendency to think of “understanding” as “agreeing”, but these are two very different ideas. By understanding the other person’s point of view, you are simply moving toward resolution and effective communication. You cannot communicate your point of view without understanding where the other person is coming from. Imagine someone trying to communicate with you, when they do not understand your point of view.

6. I Statements
“I Statements” are one of the most powerful tools in communication. Used correctly they remove any accusatory tone in your statement and allow you to express your point without getting a defensive reaction. There are 3 important components to an I Statement: (1) Stating your feeling, (2) Connecting the feeling to an issue, and (3) Stating what you want to have happen. As an example, instead of saying, “You don’t let me say what I want to do”, say “I feel frustrated when we talk about making plans and I don’t get to say what I want to do, I want us to both to have input”.

7. Take a Break
Sometimes it is important to take a break and not continue the conversation. The break gives everyone a chance to get some perspective, step away from the negative feelings, think about what the real purpose of the conversation is, and how to proceed. All too often people will start talking about one thing which triggers negative thoughts or feelings, leading them to start arguing about something else altogether. People also spend a great deal of time looking for resolution in a discussion, when no real resolution is possible. Taking a break gives permission to stop the conversation once the point has been made.

8. Do Not Focus on “Winning”
Very often, especially when arguing, people focus on winning, or being right, which tends to mean that they are asking the other person to admit that he/she was wrong. You may also find yourself reacting to the feeling that you are being told that you are “wrong” when arguing. When people focus on winning, others tend to experience this as having his/her feelings or perspective discounted or disrespected. This is only going to lead to defensiveness and escalation from both parties. Instead focus on understanding the perspectives and not being right or winning.

9. Know What Your Purpose Is
When having a discussion with someone it is important to know what your purpose of the communication is. Although you cannot change others, change the past, or control the future, this may often be your purpose. If your goal is something that you are not in control of, communication is going to be frustrating to say the least. Remember that often the only reason to communicate your feelings is to give them a voice. It is the responsibility of the other person to choose to take action if they want to help you feel better.

10. Admit Your Responsibility
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we even hurt those we care about most. Allow yourself to recognize and acknowledge the less than admirable things that you do. If you hurt someone, even if you did not mean to, accept this and apologize. Once you have accepted the responsibility, the real communication can begin. It is important to remember that hurting someone, or making mistakes, does not make you a “bad” person, nor can you always have someone immediately stop feeling hurt just because you apologized.