Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk.
And I fall in.
I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, and still I fall in.
It’s a habit.
But my eyes are open and I know where I am.
It is my fault and I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down a different street.

Recommended Training Resource: Leadership and Self-Deception. Based on the best-selling book, this video and its accompanying materials explore our human tendency to look elsewhere for the cause of our problems when we should really be looking within.

Steps

1) Listen attentively. Communicating with others is as much about listening as it is about talking. When you listen closely to another person, you learn about his needs and views on life. Learning about the person you are talking to allows him to feel understood and leads to more effective communication.

2)  Gather information. When a person comes from a different culture or background, she may speak in a way that does not resonate with you. Even if you speak the same language, she may be from a different region that uses different terminology or speaks more rapidly. Learn more about her culture or background to improve your ability to converse with her.

3)  Ask for clarification. If a person speaks rapidly, uses unfamiliar words or leaves out important information, ask him questions. He may be accustomed to people who speak just as quickly or technically and might be unaware of your confusion. Asking for clarification will also show him that you are listening.

4)  Speak clearly. Use language that others will understand. Avoid mumbling or using unfamiliar lingo. This is especially important when speaking to people of different cultural backgrounds, ages, professions and personalities.

5)  Confirm that your message is being understood. Watch your listener’s body language. Look for signs that she understands what you are saying. A furrowed brow and other body language indicating confusion or disinterest are reasons to slow down or speak more clearly.

6)  Watch your body language. Be sure that you are approachable. Looking down at the floor or away when talking to someone will communicate a lack of interest. Maintain eye contact and nod to indicate that you are listening.

7)  Acknowledge similarities. When in conversation with someone from a different age group or background, focus on your similarities and acknowledge them. For example, your listener might enjoy the same flavor of ice cream as you. Commenting on the things you have in common helps to build a connection.

8)  Appreciate the differences. Being able to talk to anyone means sincerely appreciating diverse beliefs and cultures. For example, you might notice that the family near you at the park is dancing to music from a different culture. To break the ice, you might ask them for the name of the instrument, artist or song.

9)  Express genuine interest in others. People enjoy speaking to others who genuinely care about them. Ask questions that show you care and want to learn more. In some cultures, it is customary to spend time discussing family or lighthearted topics before diving into serious or professional matters.

Recommended Training Resource: Designed for maximum flexibility, The Communication Toolkit provides you with a library of video vignettes that depict various aspects of communication, including speaking clearly, active listening, nonverbal communication, conflict and difficult conversation, group communication, and presentation skills.

Group Instructions: Attempt to fill in your sheet by finding a person who can say “yes” or can respond appropriately to each question. Write their first name in the space provided. You may use each person’s name only once.

1. _________________________________________________ speaks more than one language. What languages are they?__________________________________________________

2. _______________________________________________has traveled abroad in the last year.

3. _________________________________lived in another country for a significant period of time.

4. ___________________________________________________ has experienced acupuncture.

5. ____________________________’s ancestors come from the same country as one of your ancestors. Which country? ____________________________________________

6. _______________________ likes to watch TV shows about science and/or nature.

7. ______________________________________comes from a family of 4 or more children.

8. _________________________________________ attended private school as a child.

9. _____________________________________________ reads one or more books a month.

10. ____________________________________________has an LP (vinyl record) collection.

11. ____________________________________________________ has more than 2 children.

12. ___________________________ enjoys gardening.

13. __________________________ works as a volunteer more than 5 hours a month.  The volunteer service they provide is ________________________________.

14. _________________________ plays more than 10 hours of sports per month.

15. __________________________ has more than 10 apps on their smart phone.

Recommended Training Resource: A Peacock in the Land of Penguins.  Diversity in the workplace is sometimes met with intolerance of those who are different, or unique. Using parable and animation, this entertaining program shows how an appreciation of everyone can help the organization move forward in a positive way.

Who out there knows everything?”  (Recognize that I didn’t ask, “Who thinks they know everything?”) No human knows everything. None of us has had ALL experiences. All of us have incomplete knowledge when it comes to our world and the people and ideas in our world. All of us are missing some data—a lot of data relative to the universe of data. And if that’s the case, (that we lack sufficient knowledge in many areas and subjects of which we have little experience), do you suppose we could be wrong every once in a while, maybe even more than every once in a while? I think you know the answer to that question.

What might increase our chances of being correct? The short answer is having more knowledge and data, and specifically more knowledge and data from diverse sources (think diverse perspectives). Therein lies the power of diversity and the power of diverse groups. A problem, and especially a complex one, has a greater chance of being solved when one has many different perspectives gathered to try to solve the problem. It’s a simple matter of mathematical probability. The probability of finding a solution is increased when the number of potential solutions increases, and the number of potential solutions is greater as the number of “lenses” and different ways of thinking increases.

The logic is straightforward. Ideas are the result of experiences and the birthplace of solutions (i.e., innovations). The more experiences one has individually and collectively, the greater the probability of discovering a solution. And it’s not just having many diverse individual experiences — that’s helpful. It’s having many diverse collective experiences. That’s powerful! 

Staying in our comfort zones and only hanging out with people just like us contributes very little to building a diverse set of experiences and perspectives. It is self- and group- reinforcing behavior, and is a huge barrier to greater creativity and innovation.

Here’s how it works. We tend to gravitate toward people and ideas that are similar to our own. We find it very comfortable to surround ourselves with folks who think like us, act like us, look like us and who generally share the same values and beliefs. These folks are our buddies. Besides being a great support group, our buddies serve as a sounding board for us. They listen to what we have to say and the vast majority of time, they agree with us, especially on important “values”-type issues. We need people like this because they help us to navigate our world with some level of confidence. They serve as protective walls that shield us from weird and funny sounding ideas. 

However, walls can be seen not only as things that protect, but as things that imprison. Unfortunately, our buddies also serve to insulate us from ideas that, at times, we need to hear and critically entertain in order to solve problems and discover critical solutions. They prevent us from hearing and seeing alternatives to our current reality – alternatives that can only come from “outside” perspectives and sets of experiences different than our own. Within the comfortable “walls of sameness,” we are unable to recognize or even see the crucial perspectives and data that could lead us to different possibilities and solutions.

From the perspective of Systems Theory, the “walls of sameness” — if we are unwilling to venture out — create a closed system. Closed systems go into entropy – an eventual spiraling to death because they perpetually lose energy without taking in new energy.  When it comes to organizations, ideas can be thought of energy (especially in the idea and knowledge economy in which we currently live). Within closed organizational systems, new ideas are never introduced and the organization eventually dies out, giving way to dynamic organizations that are creative and can innovate (i.e., embrace different ideas in order to problem solve better). Intentionally or unintentionally creating homogeneity (sameness) is a big mistake for any organization or company that seeks to be more creative and innovative.

About the Author: Dr. Steve Robbins wears many hats as a highly sought-after national resource on issues of diversity, inclusion and cultural competence. He presents at numerous conferences and workshops across the nation inspiring people with moving stories, humorous anecdotes and powerful insight into human behavior.  He is the author of the book, What If? Short Stories to Spark Diversity Dialogue.  

Recommended Training Resource:  The brand-new video training program, Inclusion Insights, features Dr. Robbins who simultaneously challenges and motivates individuals and organizations to be more open-minded, mindful and intentional about inclusion and valuing people for their unique gifts, abilities and experiences.

By Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster

Most studies of different generations and how they behave at work focus on each generation’s values based on the cultural context of their upbringing.  We know that Gen Y employees are considered tech savvy, accustomed to positive reinforcement, and committed to work/life balance.  Gen X workers are presumably more independent, self-sufficient, and resourceful. Boomers equate work and position with self-worth, so they’re viewed as achievement-oriented, dedicated and career-focused. Finally, the over-65 Silent Generation is known to be hardworking, loyal, and technologically challenged.

While cultural context is extremely valuable, we think it’s important to approach the multi-generational workforce from a slightly different perspective.  We want to consider how one’s behavior at work is driven by more than cultural context and upbringing. In our view, each generation is also at a specific stage of psychological development.

This means that in addition to the economic, political and cultural influences of their upbringing, each generation is operating within a specific stage of their adult life.  And that psychological stage informs the employee’s needs, capabilities and limitations.  

Why is this important? Because, while you can see how a Boomer is frustrated with a Gen Y’s idealistic views of what technology can do, it may not be as clear that this Gen Y employee has the same idealism that her Boomer colleague once possessed when he or she was the same age.  Not true, you say? Think again. Research by Dr. Jean Twenge, professor of Psychology at San Diego State University proved that current claims that Gen Y adults are more idealistic than their Gen X or Boomer predecessors were at the same stage in life is false. 

This is because we all move through and experience the same stages of psychological development as adults.  Consider this example:

While leading a staff development retreat for a hospice organization, it became obvious that several Gen Y employees were feeling misunderstood and disrespected by their Gen X CFO.  These junior employees sat together in a group, with a look of fear on their faces, arms and legs crossed. The Boomers in the room could not understand what was happening. They did not take the CFO’s moody and dismissive behavior personally.  The Boomers (who included the CEO and VP of Patient Services) respected the CFO’s ability to repeatedly deliver excellent results.

From a developmental perspective, each group of employees at this retreat displayed age-appropriate behavior. The Gen Y’s were exhibiting responses typical of their stage in life: they were naturally self-conscious, peer-oriented, and unsure of themselves.  The Boomers were also reacting In a manner consistent with their stage in life: confident in their experience, able to take other people with a grain of salt, and appreciative of a job well done. Finally, the Gen X CFO, who’d been targeted as the problem, was simply doing what came naturally at her stage in life: Laying down the law, setting her standards, and expecting everyone around her to comply.

And therein lies the challenge:  A multi-generational workforce, where each player is operating from a specific stage in his or her adult development.

Awareness of these internal differences at each phase of adult life is the first step to managing all four generations (Gen Y, Gen X, Boomers and The Silent Generation) effectively.  There is no one-size-fits-all management strategy when dealing with such an age-diverse workforce.  Each generation needs to be managed based on their psychological needs and capabilities.  This can make the job of a manager quite complicated.

So here’s a sampling of what each developmental stage looks like:

Generation Y              Ages: late teens to late twenties

How they define themselves: “I am my relationships.”
Greatest focus: Peer relationships – being accepted and affiliated with friends and co-workers of a similar age.

New to the workforce, these individuals are idealistic and energetic. Although they may seem confident and entitled on the outside, inside they are unsure of themselves and very fearful of committing to the wrong career path.

Management needs: To try-out different jobs, and receive help with prioritizing.

Generation X            Ages: Early thirties to mid forties

How they define themselves: “I am my internal government.”

Greatest focus: Establishing a professional identity. Living by personal rules regarding career, family, community.

Having identified their chosen field or profession, they seek to make a mark and achieve results in the areas that matter to them.

Management needs: To be supported in achieving goals, obtaining credentials, and attaining work/life balance.

Baby Boomers                    Ages: Late forties to early sixties

How they define themselves:  “I am my experiences.” 

Greatest focus: Feeling a sense of mastery (and reward) in chosen field while incorporating a better quality of life.

Aware of the fact that they’re on the tail end of a career track, these individuals want to be recognized and rewarded for their hard-earned expertise.

Management needs: To be encouraged to showcase and share expertise; to continue learning new skills.

Silent Generation                   Ages: Mid-sixties to retirement

How they define themselves: “I am part of a larger whole.”

Greatest focus: Desire to establish legacy at work; interest in planning for retirement years.

Phasing out of formal work roles, these individuals focus on quality of life and doing the things they’ve always wanted to do.

Management needs: Allow flex-time and reduced schedule. Encourage documentation of institutional memory.

From this sampling of the generational orientations, we can point to some specific ways that management can help each generation work well with the others.

• If Boomers want to be appreciated for their expertise, is there a way that they can mentor Gen X and Gen Y employees – helping them figure out their career paths and establish their professional identities? 
• If Gen X’ers need to establish their credentials, can they use the idealism of Gen Y employees to accomplish their goals while being sensitive to this younger generation’s insecurity and need for reassurance? 
• If Gen Y employees have high ideals and technological savvy, can they appreciate the fact that their veteran colleagues need to be respected for their experience in order to follow their lead? 
• And what about the Silent Generation? Can their historical perspective and wealth of knowledge be documented so that it becomes part of the institutional memory of any organization?

The challenge of blending generations at work is not new. Our current workforce has one important difference: The youngest generation has the greatest facility with technology, and the older generations depend on that acuity for their organization’s growth. This dependence on the youngest generation to bring each company into the future has changed the balance of power in a way that is disconcerting for Gen X, Boomer and Silent Generation employees who’ve earned their experience the hard way.

With a greater understanding of each generation’s capabilities, needs and internal workings, you can lead the way in creating a workforce where the four generations grow more tolerant of each other’s differences while capitalizing on each other’s strengths.

About the Authors:  Kathi Elster and Katherine Crowley are authors of the books Working With You is Killing Me, and Working For You Isn’t Working For Me. Used with permission. Visit their website: http://www.ksquaredenterprises.com/

Recommended Training Resource:  While focused primarily on cultural influences, Please Respect My Generation! is a great program for sparking discussion on how people of varying ages can work best together.

Recent leadership failures in several high profile companies draw increased attention to the reality that achieving goals – performance – is only part of the formula for success. Another critical piece is the way leaders do it, which impacts others – relationships.  Leaders who are low in self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills lack something called “emotional intelligence” (EQ), a behavior model popularized by the work of Daniel Goleman.

Rather than being one of the many leadership fads that shed fleeting light on how those in power can be more successful, EQ is an enduring mirror that reflects back who a leader is and how he or she behaves, defining “tone at the top” more compellingly than any words on email, paper or video.

EQ also has a direct bearing on corporate reputation, something that boards of directors have watched impact stock price, media coverage, public opinion and a leader’s viability. Consider how public sentiment turned more negative against BP after former CEO Tony Hayward made the comment, “I want my life back,” and later watched his yacht race while gushing oil was destroying the livelihoods of Gulf residents.

Recently, retired Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen gave BP credit for doing about as well as any company could have in stopping the oil flow, but Allen, in charge of overseeing the government and industry response to the Gulf spill, gave BP low marks for how it dealt with the people and communities affected. If leaders don’t feel or know how to genuinely express empathy, it makes it that much harder for them to be trusted or supported.

Ethical Failures

Korn Ferry’s Robert Hallagan, Vice Chair and Managing Director, Board Leadership Services, says the percentage of cases where EQ derails a CEO is higher than what we read about in the media, but still a small percentage of the total population of CEOs. “However, because of the press around it,” Hallagan says, “boards are becoming more sensitive to EQ.” Korn Ferry uses various assessment tools to assess EQ and other leadership competencies in the searches they do.

“Leaders’ lack of emotional intelligence can lead to ethical failures if they believe they will never get caught and feel smart enough to worm their way out of it,” says Keith Darcy, Executive Director of the Ethics and Compliance Officer Association. “Arrogance distorts a leader’s capacity to read accurately situations. They can reach a position of power and sometimes develop contempt for ‘the small people’ as BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg was quoted describing the Gulf residents.”

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, Jonah Lehrer talks about the contradiction of power, essentially how nice people can change by having authority. To the point on vulnerability to ethical lapses, Lehrer says that “people in power tend to reliably overestimate their moral virtue, which leads them to stifle oversight. They lobby against regulators, and fill corporate boards with their friends. The end result is sometimes power at its most dangerous.”

Lehrer points out that company surveys are a good barometer of what is happening in the culture of the organization, and surveys provide evidence that the vast majority of rude and inappropriate behavior comes from the offices of those with the most authority.

One of the fallouts from former HP CEO Mark Hurd’s ouster seems to bear witness to this. Immediately after his resignation was announced, past and current HP employees began commenting on blogs about Hurd’s arrogance, rudeness, and treatment of people he disagreed with in meetings. He had the lowest employee approval rating (34 percent) of major tech industry CEOs.  Granted, few CEOs who are credited with significant cost-cutting and layoffs win popularity contests, but a healthy amount of EQ can mitigate the impact of difficult decisions.

Importance of Soft Skills

Recent publicized leadership failures do invite thinking about what it takes to be a good boss, a theme in an article in the most recent McKinsey Quarterly.  Self-awareness wins as probably the most important skill good bosses must have because, aware of their flaws, these bosses work not only to overcome them and reverse the resulting damage, but involve others to help compensate for whatever their own weaknesses might be – and the organization is stronger as a result.

In the rush to find what works, what will create leadership success, something has been staring us in the face, not often acknowledged. Executive coach Jordan Goldrich, who works with the Center for Creative Leadership, points out that “increasingly, research is showing that what we used to think of as the soft skills (building and mending relationships, communication, and humility etc.) are completely connected to the business results.”

A recent story about incoming General Motors’ CEO Daniel Akerson used the headline “Brash, Blunt, Demanding.” Recognized for his discerning questions and for holding others accountable, a style that gained him respect on Wall Street in his role as a GM board member, Akerson will take over on September 1 as CEO. Tagged with a style of being brash, blunt and using colorful language, he will have a chance to demonstrate if soft skills are also important to the success of the new GM.

“It’s interesting (that) leaders lacking EQ see no higher purpose generally than themselves, hearing nothing more than the sound of their own voice, and can’t see beyond quarterly results,” says ECOA’s Darcy. “Those with a well developed sense of self are capable of hearing the deep moaning in the world. They realize everything that we do gets done with, by, for, and through people. They understand that the well being of people translates into a well functioning organization.”

About the Author: Gael O’Brien is a Business Ethics Magazine columnist. Gael is a thought leader on building leadership, trust, and reputation and writes The Week in Ethics.  Business Ethics is an online magazine with a strong heritage in the fields of ethics, governance, corporate responsibility and socially responsible investing. The mission of Business Ethics is “to promote ethical business practices, to serve that growing community of professionals and individuals striving to work and invest in responsible ways.”

Training Resource: Ethics 4 Everyone provides a powerful ethics overview for any type of organization and features a Bonus Leadership Segment which outlines 10 Ethics Guidelines specifically for those in a leadership role. Footage covers how to hold yourself accountable for ethical behavior, how to regularly communicate organizational values and ethical standards to staff so they are certain about what is/isn’t acceptable and why it’s important to recognize those who act ethically.

Check the list below to see how you are doing at using your social intelligence to become an effective team member at work.

 1. I don’t mind taking suggestions from others.

2. I prefer to work with others instead of on my own.

3. I pay attention to my teammates’ feelings and empathize when they’re upset.

4. I am more cooperative than competitive.

5. I effectively present my ideas and am able to influence others.

6. I accept and give feedback well.

7. I enjoy working with people who are different than me.

8. I pay full attention when I’m listening.

9. I compliment people for their accomplishments.

10. I trust other people and believe that others work as hard as I do.

If you can say that you do these ten items almost always, you already have well-honed social intelligence skills.

If instead, you look at this list and think “sometimes” or “never” for most of these items, you might want to spend some time on your social skills, such as empathy, listening, showing concern, and being “attuned” to others’ feelings. For areas in the list where you feel you are lacking, make a list of specific behaviors that you could improve. For example, if you do a poor job complimenting people for their accomplishments, you may want to set a goal for yourself to: Personally acknowledge my co-workers’ good work during our team meetings.

Recommended Training Resource: Team Building. This insightful video program focuses on the team player as the cornerstone of a productive and successful team: it depicts 4 team player styles, and shows how team players can complement, challenge, inspire, and adapt to one another to achieve new performance heights.

TMI at work (opens clip on YouTube)

Training Resource: Working With You is Killing Me teaches employees how to handle needy, talkative co-workers and other difficult colleagues.

There’s a definite difference between focusing on not failing versus striving for success.

When we focus on not failing, fear rents most of the space in our mind, and we see monsters in need of slaying everywhere we turn. We lose track of the original vision that propelled our actions, and the sheer act of working becomes at best a passionless exercise and at worst, drudgery.

Lousy Leaders Achieve “Not Failing” at a High Price:

Sadly, many leaders provide fuel for the “don’t fail” machine through their actions.

Show me a project team or functional group that exhibit all of the energy and passion of a collection of late-night television zombies, and I’ll guarantee there’s one or more dysfunctional and often micro-managing leaders at the source of this environmental problem.

Often, these leaders are motivated by some perverse view that success comes from not having their name associated with screwing up.  As a result, their every motivation is to make certain you and your co-workers achieve that objective.  While they may succeed in helping their teams navigate the issues of “not failing,” these leaders suck the life out of their teams in the process.

The Scarlet “F”

The “don’t fail” disease isn’t limited to the corporate world. I know small business owners and solopreneurs who have stepped into this gooey emotional muck during the past few years of economic unpleasantness. Instead of lessons-learned serving as fuel for problem solving and innovation, setbacks are worn for all to see as Scarlet F’s, where F stands for failure. Of course, what they forget is that no one can really see the Scarlet F’s unless they go out of their way to show them off.

Remember, You Own Your Attitude:

Striving not to fail is like walking up to take your turn at bat when the only thought running through your mind is, “don’t strike out.” The last two words, “strike out” are all that you remember as you flail wildly at everything thrown your way.

If you’re caught up in an environment where an evil leader holds court, remember that you still own your attitude. While it’s not easy to escape the fog of uncertainty and doubt created by these characters, it’s unlikely that their attempts at mind control can survive in a pitched battle against your own good attitude.

If you are your own boss and you feel weighted down and exposed by the Scarlet F’s you believe you are carrying around with you, it’s critical to rediscover the feelings of excitement, hope and opportunity that likely propelled you off on your own in the first place.

Rediscover or Reset Your Sense of Purpose:

Somewhere buried beneath the baggage and stress of the past few years, you had a sense of purpose that fueled your efforts. Whether it was providing for others or an intense desire to change the world, it’s important to scrape off the muck and recall that sense of greater mission.

Of course, we change over time, and what fueled us at one phase of life may not be so relevant at another stage. I know many people who have recharged their lives and their work as professionals by resetting their sense of purpose from a focus on success to an emphasis on making a difference for someone or some group.

The Bottom-Line for Now:

It’s easy to focus on failure or on the pursuit of not failing. It’s a lot more fun, it’s a lot healthier and it darned well is a lot more inspiring to rationalize our efforts and actions and combat our demons in the context of our bigger purpose.

Those who focus on success see victory around every corner.  They view obstacles and setbacks as minor challenges to be overcome on a longer journey towards something worthwhile.

No one can take away your sense of purpose, unless you let them. Focus your gaze clearly on the bigger picture and longer term, take a deep breath and then take the first step forward. You’ll quickly remember that steps taken with a purpose in mind are effortless.

Now, keep moving.

About the Author:

Anyone with decision-making authority needs relevant, timely, and accurate information that can be acted upon – the right information at the right time.   

But how do you identify the measurements that matter most? According to the Data Warehousing Institute*, an effective measure should:

• Monitor critical business processes or activities…by using metrics of business performance that trigger alerts when potential problems arise.

• Analyze the root cause of problems that surface…by exploring relevant and timely information from multiple perspectives at various levels of detail.

• Effectively manage people and processes…by improving decisions, optimizing performance, and steering the organization (or department) in the right direction.

Brainstorm with your team potential organizational/team/performance measurements that meet these standards. Be sure to discuss how important each is to the success of the organization (or department) and then cull the list down to 5-7 important indicators.

For these indicators, break into smaller groups and have each group complete the following for 1-2 of the indicators:

• What specific information needs to be gathered? By whom?
• How will it be gathered?
• Where will it come from?
• How often can it be gathered?
• How often should it be shared/communicated?
• Who should communicate the information and with whom should it be shared?
• Are there any obstacles to gathering or using this information?

*Study referenced in Performance Dashboards: Measuring, Monitoring, and Managing Your Business by Wayne W. Eckerson, Wiley (2005), page 27.

Excerpted from the Leader’s Guide to the video program The Dashboard. ©2006 Franklin Covey.

Training Resource:  When searching for ways to measure effectiveness and build success, today’s organizations have access to vast amounts of data. The Dashboard will teach your staff what information is truly meaningful, and how to get it quickly in the hands of those who can act on it.