Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk.
And I fall in.
I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, and still I fall in.
It’s a habit.
But my eyes are open and I know where I am.
It is my fault and I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down a different street.

Recommended Training Resource: Leadership and Self-Deception. Based on the best-selling book, this video and its accompanying materials explore our human tendency to look elsewhere for the cause of our problems when we should really be looking within.

 ACT AFTER YOU PLAN

• start with a written plan of action to avoid getting distracted
• keep your plan simple and straightforward
• start with the one thing you must get done today to feel productive
• should be a manageable item you can complete in 10-15 minutes
• break the day up into a number of “action sessions” for other tasks
• balance the time spent planning with time spent creating or doing
• avoid over-planning — another method of procrastination
• before ending your day, spend 10 minutes reviewing your progress
• take time to plan your actions for the next day

BE VISION-DIRECTED

• your tasks should match your values or purpose
• if not, you will find it hard to summon the energy to tackle them
• bring each task into congruence with your basic mission
• if you can’t, take it off of your list

BITE-SIZED PIECES

• don’t put any “to-do” on your list that takes more than 30 minutes
• if it takes longer, it’s actually a series of smaller “to-do’s”
• break each step out and list it separately
• you don’t have to tackle all the steps of a project in one sitting
• spread a large task out over several work sessions
• you will see greater progress as you check more items off your list
• you will avoid getting bogged down in one large task or project

DECIDE TO SCHEDULE IT

• determine how much you can do or tolerate at a time
• don’t push yourself too far or you’ll get bored or frustrated
• plan these project “pieces” into your daily activities
• set a “completion point” for accomplishing each small task
• completion points give you an end in sight to look forward to

GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH

• don’t try to do everything perfectly
• perfectionism often causes procrastination
• perfectionists would rather put it off than do an incomplete job
• rather than perfection, aim for progress
• any small step toward completion is an accomplishment

JUST DO IT

• do the worst job (or part of the job) first and get it out of the way
• once you tackle the part you are dreading, the rest is a breeze
• stop spending time planning and just jump into doing it
• set a time limit — “I’ll file papers for 5 minutes”
• alternate unpleasant jobs with tasks you enjoy
• delegate out items you can’t make yourself do

PLAN AROUND INTERRUPTIONS

• interruptions tend to occur in identifiable patterns
• notice when interruptions occur, by whom, and why
• take steps to prevent those interruptions before they occur
• if they can’t be prevented, learn how to delegate to someone else
• if they can’t be delegated, learn how to delay until you are finished

REMEMBER TO MAKE IT FUN

• make the project and environment as pleasant as possible
• play music, open a window, have a cold drink, etc.
• give yourself the best tools and work space for the project
• take a few minutes to organize your work space
• a clean desk allows you to focus without visual distraction
• it’s only a chore if you think of it as a chore

STAYING MOTIVATED

• find an “accountability partner” to track your progress
• schedule a regular time to check in with a friend or colleague
• rewarding your accomplishments encourages productivity
• give yourself a break, a treat, a nap — whatever is a reward for you
• reward every step along the way, not just the end result
• the bigger the accomplishment, the bigger the reward

Copyright 2000-2009 Ramona Creel

About the Author: “Ramona Creel is a modern Renaissance woman and guru of simplicity — traveling the country as a full-time RVer, sharing her story of radically downsizing, and inspiring others to regain control of their own lives. As a Professional Organizer and Accountability Coach, Ramona will help you create the time and space to focus on your true priorities — clearing away the clutter and other obstacles standing in the way of that life you’ve always wanted to be living. As a Professional Photographer, Ramona captures powerful images of places and people as she travels. And as a travel writer, social commentator, and blogger, she shares her experiences and insights about the world as we know it. You can see all these sides of Ramona — read her articles, browse through her photographs, and even hire her to help get your life in order — at www.RamonaCreel.com. And be sure to follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.”

Recommended Training Resource: Accountability That Works! This innovative training program will provide everyone in your organization with the tools they need for a greater sense of responsibility and increased productivity, including teaching the skill of “self-empowerment” – doing whatever is necessary to complete the task, including overcoming procrastination, interruptions and other barriers to completion.

Last month, I shared a very powerful time management tool which has proven to be very successful for those who have attended our time management seminars.

In that article, Start a “Stop-Doing” List, I explained that a “Stop-Doing” list is nothing more than a simple inventory of bad habits or negative actions currently practiced by an individual, team or organization that would provide better results if they were discontinued.

I pointed out in that article that our seminar break-out sessions have clearly demonstrated that everyone’s list is uniquely focused on their own daily routines. While some commonalities emerged from the exercise, most attendees produced examples that differed greatly from others in the session.

For that reason, I chose not to share examples. However, since the appearance of that article, I have received several requests for some examples. Therefore, I’d like to share a few of the more generic samples which have been generated in our “I Hate Time Management” seminars.

Hopefully, one or more of these examples will inspire you to create your own list customized to reflect your own personal daily routine.

“I’m going to stop hiring the first body that walks through the door simply because I’m short-handed.”
Experience has proven that it’s actually much more painful and expensive in the long run.

“I’m going to stop telling employees how to do their jobs.”
Far better that I tell them the results I want and expect, and let them figure out how to attain them. I’ll offer to coach them and provide them with support, but allow them to figure it out.

“I’m going to stop managing people.”
My job is not to manage people. My job is to provide a context within which people can manage themselves.

“I’m going to stop trying to change people.”
I’m going to focus instead on utilizing their existing assets.

“I’m going to stop thinking I have to know the answer.”
I’m going to focus on knowing how to find the answers or surround myself with those who have them or know how to find them.

“I’m going to stop sending employees to training of any kind without explicit expectations.”
I did exactly that after our last session and was embarrassingly shocked at the positive results.

“I’m going to stop treating others as I would like to be treated.”
I’m going to instead treat them as they would like to be treated.

“I’m going to stop doing just annual performance reviews.”
Monthly reviews have proven to be much more effective.

“I’m going to stop thinking of salaries and benefits as an expense.”
I’m going to consider them instead as investments and treat them as such.

“I’m going to stop enabling my staff and start empowering them.”
They’ll never grow until I allow them to do so.
 
Now create your own personal list of things YOU need to stop doing. Significant improvement will never come until we learn how to stop doing things and behaving in ways that are no longer effective. Now is the time to start!

Recommended Training Resource: Time Challenged follows Kent, a harried supervisor, as he joins a self-help group for time-challenged individuals, and learns skills to better use his time, including giving up tasks and meetings that aren’t absolutely vital to his top priorities. This program also now available as an e-learning course.

Steps

1) Listen attentively. Communicating with others is as much about listening as it is about talking. When you listen closely to another person, you learn about his needs and views on life. Learning about the person you are talking to allows him to feel understood and leads to more effective communication.

2)  Gather information. When a person comes from a different culture or background, she may speak in a way that does not resonate with you. Even if you speak the same language, she may be from a different region that uses different terminology or speaks more rapidly. Learn more about her culture or background to improve your ability to converse with her.

3)  Ask for clarification. If a person speaks rapidly, uses unfamiliar words or leaves out important information, ask him questions. He may be accustomed to people who speak just as quickly or technically and might be unaware of your confusion. Asking for clarification will also show him that you are listening.

4)  Speak clearly. Use language that others will understand. Avoid mumbling or using unfamiliar lingo. This is especially important when speaking to people of different cultural backgrounds, ages, professions and personalities.

5)  Confirm that your message is being understood. Watch your listener’s body language. Look for signs that she understands what you are saying. A furrowed brow and other body language indicating confusion or disinterest are reasons to slow down or speak more clearly.

6)  Watch your body language. Be sure that you are approachable. Looking down at the floor or away when talking to someone will communicate a lack of interest. Maintain eye contact and nod to indicate that you are listening.

7)  Acknowledge similarities. When in conversation with someone from a different age group or background, focus on your similarities and acknowledge them. For example, your listener might enjoy the same flavor of ice cream as you. Commenting on the things you have in common helps to build a connection.

8)  Appreciate the differences. Being able to talk to anyone means sincerely appreciating diverse beliefs and cultures. For example, you might notice that the family near you at the park is dancing to music from a different culture. To break the ice, you might ask them for the name of the instrument, artist or song.

9)  Express genuine interest in others. People enjoy speaking to others who genuinely care about them. Ask questions that show you care and want to learn more. In some cultures, it is customary to spend time discussing family or lighthearted topics before diving into serious or professional matters.

Recommended Training Resource: Designed for maximum flexibility, The Communication Toolkit provides you with a library of video vignettes that depict various aspects of communication, including speaking clearly, active listening, nonverbal communication, conflict and difficult conversation, group communication, and presentation skills.

There’s a definite difference between focusing on not failing versus striving for success.

When we focus on not failing, fear rents most of the space in our mind, and we see monsters in need of slaying everywhere we turn. We lose track of the original vision that propelled our actions, and the sheer act of working becomes at best a passionless exercise and at worst, drudgery.

Lousy Leaders Achieve “Not Failing” at a High Price:

Sadly, many leaders provide fuel for the “don’t fail” machine through their actions.

Show me a project team or functional group that exhibit all of the energy and passion of a collection of late-night television zombies, and I’ll guarantee there’s one or more dysfunctional and often micro-managing leaders at the source of this environmental problem.

Often, these leaders are motivated by some perverse view that success comes from not having their name associated with screwing up.  As a result, their every motivation is to make certain you and your co-workers achieve that objective.  While they may succeed in helping their teams navigate the issues of “not failing,” these leaders suck the life out of their teams in the process.

The Scarlet “F”

The “don’t fail” disease isn’t limited to the corporate world. I know small business owners and solopreneurs who have stepped into this gooey emotional muck during the past few years of economic unpleasantness. Instead of lessons-learned serving as fuel for problem solving and innovation, setbacks are worn for all to see as Scarlet F’s, where F stands for failure. Of course, what they forget is that no one can really see the Scarlet F’s unless they go out of their way to show them off.

Remember, You Own Your Attitude:

Striving not to fail is like walking up to take your turn at bat when the only thought running through your mind is, “don’t strike out.” The last two words, “strike out” are all that you remember as you flail wildly at everything thrown your way.

If you’re caught up in an environment where an evil leader holds court, remember that you still own your attitude. While it’s not easy to escape the fog of uncertainty and doubt created by these characters, it’s unlikely that their attempts at mind control can survive in a pitched battle against your own good attitude.

If you are your own boss and you feel weighted down and exposed by the Scarlet F’s you believe you are carrying around with you, it’s critical to rediscover the feelings of excitement, hope and opportunity that likely propelled you off on your own in the first place.

Rediscover or Reset Your Sense of Purpose:

Somewhere buried beneath the baggage and stress of the past few years, you had a sense of purpose that fueled your efforts. Whether it was providing for others or an intense desire to change the world, it’s important to scrape off the muck and recall that sense of greater mission.

Of course, we change over time, and what fueled us at one phase of life may not be so relevant at another stage. I know many people who have recharged their lives and their work as professionals by resetting their sense of purpose from a focus on success to an emphasis on making a difference for someone or some group.

The Bottom-Line for Now:

It’s easy to focus on failure or on the pursuit of not failing. It’s a lot more fun, it’s a lot healthier and it darned well is a lot more inspiring to rationalize our efforts and actions and combat our demons in the context of our bigger purpose.

Those who focus on success see victory around every corner.  They view obstacles and setbacks as minor challenges to be overcome on a longer journey towards something worthwhile.

No one can take away your sense of purpose, unless you let them. Focus your gaze clearly on the bigger picture and longer term, take a deep breath and then take the first step forward. You’ll quickly remember that steps taken with a purpose in mind are effortless.

Now, keep moving.

About the Author:

Exercise:

Steps to Evaluate Whether You Talk Too Much
1. Assess a conversation.  So, you just met your friend for lunch and are worried you may have dominated the conversation…again. Honestly and in an unbiased manner, replay the lunch date in your head. Ask yourself some questions like; “Who truthfully did the majority of the talking?”, “Did we talk more about me or about my friend?”, “How often did I interrupt my friend?” This will help you to see clearly whether or not you talk a lot in comparison to other people. Don’t limit these “replay sessions” to your social circle. think about the way you talk to EVERYONE. Including–but not limited to–your boss, co-workers, mother, and the restaurant help.

2. Assess the way you are most likely to begin a conversation.  Do you open conversation by jumping in with a funny story of your life and your observations, without being asked, or are you likely to ask someone a question and let them tell you a story, tell you about their life and their observations?

3. Pay attention to body language.  Do people sometimes roll their eyes when you start to talk, or maybe tap their foot impatiently? Do people begin to phase out when you begin to elaborate on something? Do people simply nod their head and throw out irrelevant “Yeahs” and “Uh-huhs”? Or worse, do people sometimes ignore you completely when you get on a verbal roll, turn the other way and start a conversation with the next person? These are some good indicators of whether you bore people by talking too much. If signs like these are consistent factors in your conversations, you probably talk too much.

4. Keep count of all the times you accidentally say more than you mean to say.  Do you find yourself often giving away bits of information you don’t mean to? A friend’s confidence, or your own (sometimes embarrassing) problems? Or maybe you let slip rude or hurtful opinions of people. Note how often this occurs in day-to-day conversations.

Steps to Fix the Problem
You’ve decided you DO talk too much and want to do something about it; here are some suggestions of how to do this:

1. Make a conscious effort to listen more and talk less.  Listening shows you are interested in the other person and what they have to say. People will be flattered by a good listener, because secretly, everyone loves to talk about themselves. There is no topic that interest them more than themselves. Remember, if you allow them to talk, and ask them lots of follow-up questions, they will think you are a brilliant conversationalist without you needing to say much. Some people seem to think that by talking the most, they must be the best conversationalist. By the same token, if a dinner guest take more than half of the food on the table offered for a group, would you consider them a great guest? Or rude, selfish and posessing a lack of social skills?

2.  Don’t fill all the dead air.  This is especially true in a group setting, pauses are sometimes another person’s thinking time. Some people like to take a moment to think and compose their answer carefully. Don’t feel you need to jump in at every pause. This will lead to you talking for more than your fair share, and others will feel that you are interrupting them. Allow 5 seconds, look around, and if nobody seems to want to speak, ASK a question. Don’t jump in with a “funny” story, ask people about themselves.

3. Remember a good conversation is like a back-and-forth rally.  If someone asks you a question (e.g. “How was your holiday?”), after you have given your reply about your great trip and experience, return the favor by asking a question (e.g. “how about you, are you planning to go on any trips this year?”, “Enough about me, how was your week? How are the wife and kids?”).

4. Slow down.  Sometimes people simply get excited and begin an overwhelming monologue. They’re so into what they have to say, they forget that you need TWO people to hold a conversation. This is selfish. Sometimes all it takes is a quick mental note to calm down. Take a deep breath and collect yourself before breaking your oh-so-amazing news to your friends. In essence, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Truthfully, your special story will have more impact if you take time time think about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it.

5. For goodness’s sake, STOP INTERRUPTING PEOPLE.  Interrupting people is an insipid, self-centered and widely excused habit of the majority of the world’s population. People have been desensitized to this egotistical way of carrying on a conversation. It’s now commonplace to find oneself rudely and callously cut off from finishing your sentences, only to find one’s fellow converser interjecting with their own personal stories, thoughts, or commentaries. A practice which basically states “I don’t find you interesting enough, and so I’m just going to say what I want to say.” This is a simple, awful way to disregard the most basic rule of human interaction; respect. So the next time you are in a conversation, no matter what it is about, listen. I mean, REALLY listen. Personal input is a wonderful way to express oneself, but never at the expense of the other person’s feelings. So go for it, this is a wonderful way to gain the revered honor of becoming a “good listener.”

6. Consider the cause/effect: Ask yourself why you’re so chatty. Do you seldom have an opportunity to be heard? Are you lonely? Too much caffeine? Are you often pressed for time and have adapted by increasing your rate of speech? Also, consider the effect- fast talkers and long-winded talkers tend to overwhelm and exhaust others and themselves. When you catch yourself talking too much, try to take a moment to check in with yourself- take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can “reset” your speaking habits if you slow down and work at it.

Tips
Breaking yourself of bad habits or poor manners takes time. Don’t get discouraged. It’s wise to ask a close friend for support. It can’t hurt to have a coach.

Warnings
Please, please, don’t stop talking! Talking is a beautiful form of interaction, and a good marking of a “social butterfly.” But remember, everyone wants their turn in a conversation. It’s time to go back to that long forgotten pre-school lesson of sharing.

Training Resource: Empathic Listening. Communication is said to be the most important skill in life. And effective communication always comes down to one thing — mutual understanding. Based on the premise “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood,” this program explains empathic listening and shows how it helps us understand and successfully communicate with others.

Instructions: Below is a short case study depicting a common problem that might surface in an organization. Read the example and then circle things in the following list that a person could do to show initiative in getting the problem solved.

In doing your job, you find that there are times when it takes way too long to get things done. You have some ideas for streamlining certain procedures, but no one has ever really asked for your opinion.

What are your options?

- Quietly begin complaining to your co-workers that certain procedures are inefficient and hope that one of them will bring it up to their boss.

- Before the next team meeting ends, say that you have an issue you’d like to discuss about perhaps making some adjustments to certain procedures.

- Send your supervisor an email, asking to talk to her about some ideas you have for streamlining procedures.

- Send the President of the company an email, asking to talk to her about some ideas you have for streamlining procedures.

- Leave anonymous sticky notes with jokes about the inefficient procedures on the printer by your boss’s office.

- Begin changing the procedures yourself and see if your streamlining ideas work before you suggest them to anyone else.

- Ask 3-4 people on your team to try your streamlining ideas out; if they get good results, then you will bring the streamlining issue up at your next team meeting.

- Let it go; it’s not worth the effort to change things and the risk to bring it up and appear unhappy with the way things are, or stupid if your ideas don’t work.

- Talk with a mentor or veteran employee about your ideas; see if anything like what you’re proposing has ever been tried before and ask their advice about what to do next.

Excerpted from the Leader’s Guide to the video program Can We Count on You?

Training Resource: Can We Count on You? is a common-sense program designed to put people–especially those entering the workforce for the first time–on the path to becoming highly valued employees. It provides a basic overview of what it takes to be seen as accountable, focusing on 10 specific day-to-day workplace behaviors.

“Never judge a book by its cover.” Although an often quoted sentiment and a noble goal, most of us ignore this sensible advice. In reality, we humans tend to be judgmental creatures who constantly evaluate each other on the basis of seemingly superficial details such as facial expressions, manners, vocal quality, clothing, and more. But here’s some good news about this tendency to judge: it’s not your fault! In a recent study, Princeton University psychology professor Alex Todorov found that people respond intuitively to faces so rapidly that the reasoning mind has no time to react. “It appears that we are hard-wired to draw these inferences in a fast, unreflective way,” Todorov explains.

Todorov’s findings don’t come as a big surprise to me. I repeatedly tell my clients—much to their dismay—that they are always being judged and that success in the workplace requires becoming self-aware about how you come across to others. Does this self-awareness include the first thing on a Monday morning when you slink into the office and head to the coffee pot? Absolutely! Your office mates are clicking off judgments about you from the moment you walk in the door. If you come in with a scowl on your face, be assured that they are going to register your unhappiness. Consequently, it’s never too late to make a bad impression, even on someone who already knows and likes you. Most people, however, incorrectly think that being judged is something that only happens during job interviews or performance reviews.

While it’s important to know that you are always being judged, it’s equally critical to examine the flip side and notice when you are drawing conclusions about others which may or may not be based on fact. One of my coaching clients recently told me a story that reinforces the importance of paying attention to your judgments of others.

This particular client is a real extrovert who has no problem schmoozing with her peers. However, there was one co-worker at her new job she steered clear of. During the first few days she was at the company, unlike everyone else, he didn’t go out his way to talk to her. In fact, she found him unresponsive to her attempts to get to know him. She not only concluded that he disliked her, but that he was snubbing her because he felt superior. Many months later, during a three-day company retreat, she learned that he suffered from a difficult stuttering problem. Her original snap judgment had been completely off-base. It wasn’t that he disliked her or that he had a superiority complex—he was simply uncomfortable about his speech disorder and avoided talking with people he didn’t know, for fear they would look down on him for his stutter. After the retreat, they ended up teaming together on a project where his insights and professional knowledge proved to be a huge asset.

Whether a positive impression or a negative one, our intuitive conclusions about others often prove to be wrong. Being overly trustful of a person you’ve just met can be as dangerous as making snap negative assumptions. Taking time to reflect before drawing quick conclusions about others will help you build more compassionate and reality-based relationships, both in and out of the office.

So the next time you encounter someone new in the workplace, use the following tips for considering the bigger picture:

1.Pause, breathe, and take your emotional temperature. You might be judging the person negatively due to your own stress level or anxiety.

2.Ask yourself if the judgment stems from your own emotional baggage. For example, does this person remind you of someone from your past that you liked or disliked?

3.Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and take a moment to think about how the world might look from their perspective—what circumstances, emotions, or stresses might they be dealing with?

4.Think about how you might be coming across to them. What snap judgments might they have made about you based on your actions and appearance?

5.When hiring, remember that both negative and positive snap judgments start the moment you pick up the candidate’s resume. Be aware that your own biases about race, education, gender, or demographics might make you pass over an otherwise well qualified candidate or take a shine to someone for an entirely unfounded reason.

About the Author: For more than a decade Peggy Klaus has provided communication and leadership training programs, keynotes, and executive coaching at leading corporations and organizations worldwide. She is the author of 2 books ( BRAG! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It and The Hard Truth About Soft Skills). www.peggyklaus.com

Training Resource: OUCH! That Sterotype Hurts. In a unique and powerful way, this program shows viewers the impact of stereotypical comments, explores why people remain silent in the face of biased behaviors and gives techniques to speak up and say “Ouch! That Hurts.”

1. Talk to your boss
Go to your supervisor and see if there are any additional projects you can work on. Make it a discussion more than a direct question by sharing your own career goals with him or her and how you fit into the company’s future.  When looking for opportunities, reflect on what skills or knowledge you want to develop and start there.  If possible, have a few concrete ideas in mind so you can suggest areas where you may be able to get more involved.

If you don’t have regularly scheduled meetings with your supervisor, try to get time on his or her calendar.  If that is a long way off, mention it in passing and follow up.  A simple “Hey, I think I am ready for more responsibility and would like to help the team” may be just what he or she needs to know to give you more.

2. Look for busy, stressed out coworkers
To take on more, look for the people who need help, be it in other departments or in the cubicle next door.  Make sure that you don’t become a victim of credit hogs, however; some people will attempt to have you do their extra work, and then take the credit.  Learn to identify and avoid these people.  Also, be sure to not overwhelm yourself with others’ work as you risk neglecting your own responsibilities.

3. Be proactive
Sometimes you can’t wait for someone else to give you the green light. Take initiative and do what needs to be done before someone asks you (or someone else) to do it. A good place to start is to identify tasks that are falling through the cracks and complete them. Your foresight will be appreciated.

If part of your planned activity involves reaching out to clients or other external members of your company, make sure that you have approval to do this.  “Jenn, I thought that a press search would be helpful here, and I wanted to reach out to Erik on the PR team” is a simple way of clarifying your ability to reach out to others independently and showing that you can see what the next step would be.

4. Start with the fun stuff
Some workplaces have extracurricular activities you can get involved in, be it the softball team or the sustainability initiative. Show your leadership skills there and get to know more people at work as a first step towards more official responsibility. It is good for your coworkers to get to know you outside of your traditional professional environment.

5. Become an expert
Acquire new knowledge continuously and try to stay on top of trends or developments in your field. If you are seen as an expert in a particular subject, you are more likely to be needed for new projects coming up.

One simple way of doing this is to set up a “Google Alert” for topics relevant to your industry, company or team’s area of responsibility.  Any articles featuring the terms you’ve chosen, i.e. “Obama environment oil spill BP”, will be included in a daily update email sent to your inbox.  When you find articles relevant to your team’s work, send them out with a brief accompanying summary.  You are helping all of your teammates look better and stay up-to-date on the latest industry news, which can gain you a lot of credibility as a team player. Remember though, if you send an article out to your team, make sure you anticipate any questions that may come up about the document.

About the Author:
Alex Cavoulacos is a co-founder of PrettyYoungProfessional.com. As COO, she works with the Editorial and Web teams to ensure that operations run smoothly and share her love of efficiency. Pretty Young Professional strives to be the ultimate online resource for young professional women.

Training Resource:  Make it Matter. Whether you’re a person just starting out in a job/career, a mid-level manager, or a senior leader, you will not become “essential” unless you are proactive at making it happen. In this video, consultant John Jenson illustrates three things a person can do to make themselves matter.

I, for one, am grateful for the existence of people who set big goals. My country (the USA) would not exist otherwise. Nor would my city, my family, our computers, the Internet, my breakfast, this Thanksgiving holiday, or the various freedoms I enjoy today. A number of people close to me would be dead if not for the existence and drive of “unrealistic” goal setters.

If you have a Hitler setting big goals and you don’t have an equally strong goal-setter like Winston Churchill on your side, well, … there won’t be much quo left in your status. Personally I’d rather see a lot more Winston Churchills or Mother Theresas or Stephen Hawkings out there trying and failing than none trying at all.

If you set a big goal and fail, you learn something. If you set a big goal and succeed, you gain the outcome of the goal, AND you learn something. If you don’t set a goal at all, you gain nothing and learn nothing. There’s nothing inherent to this process that is stressful or peace-reducing. To create such stress requires a particular way of thinking known as fear of failure (which unfortunately many people have been conditioned to believe). Working on big goals is like rolling a die: If it’s even, you win a little, and if it’s odd, you win a lot. If you don’t roll the die, you break even. Those are great odds to me, a bet worthy of being made frequently.

Another side to this is that most people underestimate what goals are truly “realistic” for them. Certainly some people overestimate their capabilities and fall flat on their face. But if you never overestimate your capabilities by occasionally setting a goal that’s beyond your ability to achieve, you never develop a good sense of your true capabilities — you never map out those edges — so you risk spending your whole life way below your capacity. And unfortunately this is what most people do.

An optimal strategy for investing in your life will include failure. Consider financial investing. If you adopt a strategy that 100% guarantees you’ll never lose money, will that be optimal in the long run? Not even close. In fact, since you couldn’t invest in anything because nothing is truly risk free, you wouldn’t earn any interest at all, so inflation alone would cause you to lose money. The same effect occurs in your physical body. If you never strain your muscles to push beyond their current capabilities, you won’t just stay at the same level of strength and not grow stronger — over time you will actually grow weaker.

And this is what happens to people who never push themselves to take on goals that truly challenge them. They grow mentally weaker over time, losing more and more of their capabilities.

Think back over your life for a moment and consider those times when you really challenged yourself, regardless of whether you successfully achieved the desired result or not. How would you be today if those experiences never happened? Would you be stronger or weaker?

Setting a goal and failing to achieve it doesn’t have to be regarded as some terrible thing to be avoided at all costs. In weight training, failure is your goal for each session. Hitting the point of failure is ultimately what helps you grow stronger. A weight lifter doesn’t bemoan the event of hitting that limit, opting to stick with 10-lb weights indefinitely because 100 lbs is just too heavy. That would be silly. Similarly, don’t bemoan your own failures in life when you hit one of those weights you just can’t seem to lift. Simply take a step back and go after a slightly lighter weight for a while, and eventually you’ll be strong enough to heft that heavy one. Don’t conclude that just because you can’t currently lift a weight that’s too heavy for you (or achieve a goal that’s too challenging for you) that you’ll never be able to do it or that the whole process must be inherently stressful and disappointing. Learn to love the process itself.

About the Author:  Steve Pavlina is widely recognized as one of the most successful personal development bloggers on the Internet, attracting more than two million monthly readers to his website, www.StevePavlina.com. He has written more than 1000 articles and recorded many audio programs on a broad range of self-help topics, including productivity, relationships, and spirituality.

Training Resource: Climbing Mount Everest is hard. Climbing Mount Everest blind is … impossible. Or at least that’s what they told Erik Weihenmayer.  Everest is the incredible true story that follows Erik’s ambitious goal to reach the summit of the tallest peak in the world.