The way we react to other people and communicate these feelings nonverbally can have a major impact on our working relationships. By sending out positive signals–”positive acknowledging”–we can motivate subordinates, promote a harmonious relationship with others at our level and gain the respect of our superiors. Sending out negative signals–”negative acknowledging”–has the opposite effect. It blocks communication and breeds resentment and distrust.
Positive cues are those that indicate warmth, equality, and a willingness to listen; we are showing that we appreciate and understand the other person. Negative cues express coolness and disrespect; we are showing that we reject the other person. Our range of response can be thought of as a continuum from open to closed. The more open our nonverbal language, the more receptive we seem.
“Positive Acknowledging” Nonverbal Cues:
- maintaining a pleasant facial expression
- leaning toward the speaker
- holding arms and legs away from the body
- looking directly at the speaker’s eyes
- smiling
- nodding head
- sitting directly facing the speaker
- using expressive hand gestures while speaking
- deep relaxed breathing
- relaxed jaw
“Negative Acknowledging” Nonverbal Cues:
- arms and legs drawn tightly to body
- crossed arms on chest
- leaning away from the speaker
- frowning
- limited facial expressions
- avoiding the speaker’s eyes
- looking around the room
- sitting turned away from the speaker
- shaking head negatively
- limited hand gestures
- tight jaw and mouth
As we become more aware of our nonverbal responses, we can perceive when we are moving from positive to negative or from negative to positive. We also become increasingly adept at noting when there is an inconsistency between verbal and nonverbal messaging. Inconsistencies usually indicate a speaker is experiencing conflict. Eyes, vocal tone, expression and gestures all offer clues to the person’s true emotional state; a barometer of the “feeling” content of a message, they are far more accurate than the words being spoken.
Nonverbal language subtly communicates our sincerity and commitment–or lack of it. When our words and actions contradict each other, people instinctively sense we do not believe what we are saying. They become cautious in dealing with us, uncertain of what to expect. But when our words and actions are synchronized, people sense we’re someone who can be relied upon; in turn, they will be more open with us. Thus, the more consistent we are as communicators, the greater the degree of trust and respect we will earn.
This material excerpted from the Leader’s Guide for the CRM video, Communication: The Nonverbal Agenda.
Need more help in this area? The Communication Toolkit contains a variety of video clips you can use to train on nonverbal communication. Other clips in the Toolkit can be used to teach messages on speaking clearly, listening, giving presentations, resolving contentious conversations and more!
Tags: body language, Communication, noverbal communication
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on Tuesday, July 21st, 2009 at 1:17 pm and is filed under Communication.
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February 3rd, 2010 at 12:15 am
Thanks for posting this, lifted my day.